The Wonder of It All

I am a wonderer. Not a wanderer, although I like to wander too. A wonderer—someone who wonders about everything. 

Photo by Adam Griffith on Unsplash

I wonder why policies at work are what they are. I wonder why she paired that top with those pants. I wonder how every sunset can be different every day. I wonder why gerrymandering is called gerrymandering. (Actually, thanks to a seminar I went to last night hosted by Fair Districts PA, I now know the answer to that one.) I wonder why they named their kid Apple. 

But mostly I wonder about the stuff I read in the Bible. About God. About how the Christian life is meant to be lived.

I wonder why the religious leaders understood Jesus said he was going to rise from the dead (that’s why they hired soldiers to guard his tomb), but the disciples seemed to miss it. I wonder how Paul could talk about joy while in prison. I wonder what craziness made Daniel continue to pray in front of an open window after praying was banned. I wonder. I wonder. And I wonder again.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

My friend Mandy is a wonderer too. I believe it’s why we’ve lasted together into our eighth year of Bible study. 

We never get very far in a book or a passage or a study. Instead we stop and wonder. Our current book is an eight-week study we’ve been at for three years now. Closing in on chapter 6!

I wish I earned a massage for every time I’ve said, “I wonder.” I could have one every day instead of every six months or so. (Sorry, I had one today, which always makes me wonder how I live for months without one. Oh, there’s that word “wonder” again, and I didn’t even plan it.)

I’m not an expert in anything. But I am a wonderer. And so I keep learning lots of bits about lots of things. And then there’s all the wondering about the billions of things for which there are no answers. At least not yet.

This past week, I’ve wondered too much about cancer, about early death. For a few years, Mandy and I had another woman in our Bible study. Linda loved Jesus. She loved her Bible. She was a pray-er. But I don’t think she was a marathon wonderer. Eventually she stopped attending. There were no hard feelings. Our glacial pace isn’t for everyone.

This week Linda died.

It occurred to me that it’s likely she is now a wonderer of a different sort. Imagine being in God’s presence. How can we possibly enter that and not be filled with wonder? What is it like to actually see God, I wonder? To be in his presence. To have a perfect cancer-free body. Even more freeing, to be sin-free. To talk with Jesus face-to-face. Oh, the wonder!

I don’t think I’ll ever stop being a wonderer here on earth. I’m still too curious. The unknown is too great.

But I look forward to being that different kind of wonderer someday. The wonder of God awaits. It’s a future I’ll continue to wonder about for the rest of my present.

 

 

Comments

  1. Debra WEBBER says:

    I also am a wonderer. And yes, there are many things i wonder as well. I wonder how God can be so forgiving and gracious to his children for all the many sins we commit every day. And we cant forgive ourselves. I too wonder how Paul could speak like he did while in prison. I wonder but im so thankful and grateful God does.there many many OTHER things i wonder as well.

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